Shabbat Around the Table -- Rosh Chodesh

Not only is tomorrow Shabbat, it is also Rosh Chodesh, or the new month. Tomorrow marks the beginning of the month of Shevat.

We mark the beginning of each new month at the new moon, and many of our holidays fall in the middle of the month, at the full moon. I genuinely enjoy watching the night skies in the weeks leading up to Passover to remind me how much time I have left to get ready for the holiday. As the moon grows and gets fuller, I have to plan faster!

It's a wonderful thing to make the time to look up at the stars and the moon with our children. Not only can we use the moon to track our holidays, but looking at up the celestial objects reminds us of the vastness of God's greatness. It gives us yet another reason to be thankful.

Shabbat Around the Table -- Blessings for Children

This week's parsha is the last in the book of Breishit, or Genesis. In it, Jacob blesses his sons before he dies. It has become traditional for Jewish mothers and fathers to similarly bless their sons and daughters on Friday evenings, often right after lighting Shabbat candles.

This can be a very meaningful moment for parents and their children. Parents often place their hands on their children's heads while reciting the blessings. In my experience, children, once they become teenagers, pretend to not like this tradition anymore. I think they secretly love it, because they know it's a demonstration of their parents' love for them.

In English, the blessings are:

For boys: May God make you like Ephraim and Menashe.

For girls: May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.

For both: May God bless you and keep you. May God's light shine upon you and be gracious to you. May God's face be turned toward you and give you peace.

To learn more, and for the blessings in Hebrew, visit the website below.

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/blessing-the-children/

Constructivism Part 1

In early December, Morah Virginia, Moreh Simon, and I attended Federation’s annual Jewish Early Childhood Education Conference. The theme of the conference was Ayeka, which translates as “Where are you?” It is the question God asks Adam in Gan Eden after Adam and Eve eat from the forbidden tree, realize their nakedness, and hide from God.

                                    

Each workshop at the conference challenged us to think about where we are in our beliefs about what young children truly need from the adults in their world in order to learn and grow. Where are we in our own personal journeys as early childhood educators? We left inspired and full of new insights and ideas. I’ll be sharing much of what I learned at the conference in the next several bulletin articles.

Meir Muller, an ordained rabbi who also holds a doctorate in early childhood education, gave a presentation entitled Ayeka?: Mirrors, Windows, and the Sliding Glass Doors of Constructivist Classrooms. Based on the work of the developmental psychologist Jean Piaget, constructivism is the theory that knowledge cannot be transmitted from one person to another. Facts can be transmitted, and often are, especially in older classrooms. One person can relate facts to another person, and that person can memorize and regurgitate those facts, but that is not true knowledge.

True knowledge goes beyond recitation of facts; knowledge is how one understands one’s experiences, (which include facts, observations, and skills) turns them around in one’s head, makes connections, questions and investigates them, applies them to new situations, and creates new meaning. Knowledge is thereby constructed, and constructing knowledge takes time. In a constructivist classroom, children are given the time to construct meaning of their world through a variety of carefully planned experiences guided by the teacher. A constructivist classroom is full of opportunity for investigation. The teacher doesn’t tell or explain. The teacher asks questions.

So what about the mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors? Rabbi Muller suggested that children need (metaphorical) mirrors in which to see themselves in order to learn. They need to relate to the learning experience and find it meaningful for them before they can fully engage with it. They also need windows to see the outside world, to appreciate that there is a world beyond theirs, with new experiences. Finally, they need sliding glass doors to walk though, to engage with those new experiences and begin to construct knowledge anew.

Shabbat Around the Table -- Vayishlach

Jacob famously wrestles with one of God's messenger's in this week's parsha, Vayishlach. After the nighttime encounter , an angel renames Jacob Israel, which means,"you have struggled with God."  

The Jewish people have also historically been known as the people of Israel, which refers less to the modern state and more to our ancestor Jacob/Israel. Just as Jacob struggled with God that night long ago, we continue to struggle with God as we try to make sense of this world, our place in it , and our role in making it a better place.

Anything that is worth doing is worth struggling over. Most things that are worth doing, that are important, are hard. When our children struggle, with sharing, tying their shoes, or building a chanukiah six feet tall, they are doing something important. They are learning, which is certainly worth doing. When we don't allow our children to struggle, when we try to help them so that they don't experience frustration, we take away their opportunity to learn. It's hard to see our children struggling, but it's important that we let them.

Shabbat Around the Table -- Vayetse

In this week's parsha, Vayetse, Jacob leaves his home, arrives in Haran, and immediately falls in love with his cousin Rachel. He wants to marry her, but is tricked into marrying her older sister, Leah, instead. Leah had worn a veil during the marriage ceremony and Jacob hadn't realized she wasn't Rachel. From this story arises the custom of bedeken in a Jewish wedding: the groom (after checking to make sure the bride is who he thinks it is!) covers the bride's face with a veil.

What a perfect week to dig up your wedding photos, video, or memorabilia and share your family's story with your children. They'll probably be surprised to learn that there was a time in your life when they weren't in it!

Learning Empathy Through Literature

How do we teach our children right from wrong? How do we teach them that bullying is unacceptable? How do we teach them to stand up for what is right, that if they find themselves in a situation where bullying or harassment is happening they should be upstanders and not bystanders? How do we teach them to respect others, especially those who might be of a different religious or ethnic background? How do we teach them that differences are to be celebrated, not condemned? How do we teach our children to be good, decent, moral individuals? How do we teach them empathy?

We teach them Jewish values, of course, values like b’tzelem Elohim and kavod. We teach them that all of us are made in the image of God and therefore all of us are deserving of respect. We model kind and generous behavior. When they’re ready, we honestly answer their hard questions about the world, and why things are sometimes the way they are and not the way we think they should be. We teach them to volunteer, to participate, to stand up and make a difference.

There is another, scientifically proven, way to teach our children empathy, how to understand and share the feelings and experiences of others. How to make sense of and respect people whose lives are so different from theirs. We read to them. Specifically, we read fiction.

Numerous studies* have shown that reading fiction teaches empathy. Simply, people who read fiction score better on empathy tests. When we lose ourselves in a good story, when we identify with or relate to the protagonist, when we laugh or cry with our favorite characters, when we get into their heads and feel what they’re feeling, we’re exercising the same parts of our brains that we use in the real world when we to try to understand how and why someone thinks and feels the way they do.

Any of my Gesher students will tell you that Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell is my favorite children’s book. Based on true events, it’s a fictionalized account of a 19^th century Native woman left behind on an island off the coast of California when her people leave for the mainland. Named Karana, she lives alone for 18 years. She tames a wild dog who becomes her pet, Rontu.

I read this story aloud to every class I had, and every year I wept uncontrollably when Rontu dies. Every year I’d psych myself up when that chapter rolled around; I’d tell myself to keep it together. But I couldn’t. Ever. In reading the story aloud, I had become Karana, and her profound loss was mine, too. Just about every year my students would sit in stunned silence as I cried; some years, some would cry with me. I knew it was somehow important to share this experience with them, but it wasn’t until I became familiar with these studies about fiction and empathy that I really began to understand why.

So, if you needed another reason to read to your child, or encourage them to read, this is it. Reading doesn’t just improve our focus and expand our vocabulary, it actually makes us kinder, better people. Read on.

*Visit https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2016/07/22/does-reading-fiction-make-you-a-better-person/ for an article about these studies and links to other studies.

Shabbat Around the Table -- Vayera

This week's portion is Vayera. Abraham and Sarah graciously and without hesitation welcome three wandering strangers into their home and offer them food. It is the perfect illustration of Middle Eastern hospitality and the Jewish value of hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests). These are important values at any time of year, but how much more so this week?

With Thanksgiving upon us, we can teach our children the importance of hospitality and how to be good hosts. We can expect them to say "Welcome to our home!" and "Can I get you a drink?" when your guests arrive.  We can encourage them to offer the turkey to their sibling or their grandmother before they take some for themselves. We can teach them to consider the needs of others before they tend to their own needs and the importance of sharing with others all that they are blessed with. Happy Thanksgiving!